Everyone talks about how beautiful and magical pregnancy can be and don’t get me wrong, pregnancy IS magical and beautiful, but it can also be stressful and downright mentally taxing. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant with my first and I wouldn’t change that for the world, but no one ever talked to me or in general really about the cons of pregnancy. The getting up to pee 25 times a night, headaches, backaches, leg cramps, heartburn, and all the physical demands of pregnancy are to be expected, but no one talks about the mental strain of pregnancy.
In the begging of my pregnancy I was ecstatic seeing those two pink lines I couldn’t wait for our first ultrasound, our gender reveal, baby shower, to see my baby bump, and feel little kicks. I was excited, but the mental strain started to creep in. The questions of whether I was going to be a good mother, our financial status, not being able to be a stay at home mom, freaking out over if the car seat we got was safe for our son, the works! I started to slowly hate my body I had worked so hard on mentally to accept and love.
I started to become unrecognizable from the person I was before I became pregnant. I am constantly worried about things wildly beyond my control and the building stress is causing more and more panic attacks then I can handle. No one tells you that no matter how many people you have supporting you, you have a constant feeling of being alone. Like the entire weight of the world is on your shoulders and it’s your job to solely fix every single one of them.
I have struggled with stress and anxiety for most of my teenage and adult life, but nothing to this extent. I usually would have more good days then bad, but this is different, this is constant and consistent. It’s an ever nagging that you can quite kick, it’s so loud it keeps you awake at night. Walking through life like this is awful, you’re constantly walking in a zombie like state. Everyone will ask you how you are and the only thing you can muster to say is “I’m tired” because it’s true! You’re mentally exhausted from bearing all this weight alone, but you’ll be damned for talking about how shitty pregnancy can be not matter how badly you wanted it and worked hard through infertility struggles to get here.
Grinning and bearing it is not enough! We need help to carry the mental and physical burden. Not only are mothers being poked and prodded like lab rats, we are also mentally weighed down by everything else. So please as a friend, family member, or partner, please for the love of God help the person carrying your child! Help in even its smallest forms helps lift a huge amount of the burden off of us. Please be kind to us, we have insane amounts of hormones flowing through our system and a tiny human kicking us in the most uncomfortable ways. We’re doing the best we can while trying to grow an eyeball over here. Please cut us some slack.