Nothing pisses me off more than seeing someone get taken advantage of. It’s the one thing that can turn a kind-hearted person cold. I have unfortunately been the victim of this, but I refuse to let it change me, I won’t stop doing what I can to help someone. You need food? I got you. Need a place to sleep? My guest rooms always open. I will drop what I’m doing to try and help you, but if you bite my hand I’ll think twice before I try to help you again.
You will at some point in your life run into someone who will stab you in the back regardless of the things you did to help them. To me I don’t want any reward or a pat on the back, I don’t want recognition for any good deed I’ve done a simple thank you would be fine. Unfortunately the past several months I had to deal with such nonsense. I opened up my home and my life to someone I thought I could trust, someone who I thought I could help. They moved out and I was nothing but happy for them, after four years they were back on their feet and making a life for themselves.
We never hounded them for rent or bills when they were late because we wanted them to save what they could and pay us a minimal amount. We never made them feel like they weren’t welcome and we did what we could to help them. Over time we slowly realized that no matter what we did to try and help it was never good enough. The problems they very clearly created for themselves became apparent and they blamed their poor choices on those around them. When they moved I thought they had finally grown up and that maybe we made a difference in their circumstances.
Boy did that backfire. As soon as they moved out we became the target of their anger. They did nothing, but be nasty to use behind our backs, and that hurt, but unfortunately this wasn’t totally unexpected. I did what I could to ignore it, but when my family was being dragged into it I saw red. I did what I felt was necessary for my own personal justice. I wanted to set the record straight, but I soon realized I was turning into them. I stepped back and let it go. I knew that the people I love knew what kind of people my husband and I are and that they knew better than to believe the awful things they said.
It sucks that we had to deal with this mess, but the changes that came from it were nothing short of amazing. My house finally felt like home I actually wanted to be home instead of at work. No slamming doors, no more walking on eggshells, no more screaming, no more verbal abuse, no more holes in my walls from what seemed like endless fights, no more waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was finally peace in my home, we finally felt comfortable and my home felt lighter.
We were able to actually save money and no longer live paycheck to paycheck. I was able to start renovations on my home and I was able to rekindle a 20-year long friendship that they had torn apart. I will always be grateful for the lessons they taught us, like how to be better parents, better partners, and how to solve our own problems instead of complaining and blaming others. At the end of all of this, I just want to say I do not hate these people, I don’t wish them ill will. I wish for them to do better and become better. I think Tupac said it best. ” Just because you lost me as a friend doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy. I still want to see you eat just not at my table.”