5 Years.

Looking back on your life, 5 years flys by so fast doesn’t it? Something that feels like it was just yesterday is now half a decade past.

I’ve caught myself recently thinking of how fast these past five years have gone by. Five years ago I was engaged to and entirely different person and today it’s been two years since I married my soulmate. I’ve hit my lowest of lows after several miscarriages and the highest of highs after excelling at my work and studies.

I’ve grown so much from the person I thought I was, five years ago I was a shell of a person. I just went along with the ebb and flow of other people’s choices. I lost my license to a DUI, lost my job, threw away a chance at going to a film school in Florida, and moved away from everything and everyone I knew to be with my then fiancĂ© while he attended law school.

I was comfortable in the life I had, I had no ambition to become anything more then what I was. I was fine with being a housewife,a silent partner, to only speak when spoken to. I thought this was what love was. I didn’t have a bad relationship, he wasn’t a bad person. I just wasn’t the person he fell in love with. That person had died a long time ago.

I finally at the beginning of 2016 I decided to break my engagement and move back home. It broke my heart, I spent nearly 5 years with the same man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I loved him, but not the way he needed me to, not that way I wanted to. We both deserved better from each other, I moved back to start my life from scratch, I had no job, and no ambition until I met Nick.

Nick and I met at a mutual friends party, we hung out and became friends, one night after we both unknowingly wore the same millennium falcon t-shirts we decided to exchange numbers. A couple of weeks later, he had called and asked me on a date and from there the rest was history.

We bought a home together that June, engaged that July and married in April of 2017. It was the best decision I ever made, I can’t picture going through everything I’ve been through without him by my side. It hasn’t always been easy, but we’ve made it through the other side together.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that, all of that happened in a five year span and I didn’t plan any of it. It all went by so fast, in the blink of and eye everything changed. I’ve been able to become the person I was meant to be and my ex was able to become the person he was meant to be. We’ve both found people who make us whole, we learned from each other about what we want out of a partner and what we want from ourselves.

I never once regretted dating my ex, he just wasn’t the person for me. I’m glad we’re both happy and I’m glad we both became better people. I’ve learned that we have to accept the small amounts of growth we make everyday and we can’t be afraid to take the chances that scare us. Soon the small things and the small chances become big changes, after 5 years we’ve become totally different people, we’ve become better than we were before.

Don’t be afraid to take the leap, if you do you just might fly.

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