After Every Storm There’s Always A Rainbow.

Everyone knows the saying, but few know what it means. For those struggling with infertility or those going through the loss of  a child/pregnancy this is so much more than just a saying; it’s a beacon of hope in an otherwise dark and barren place. It means that one day, after all the struggles and sadness you will one day have your baby, your rainbow baby.

For me personally this saying has brought me back countless times from the brink of hopelessness. On April 13th 2018 I lost our baby, I was only 5 weeks along, but I still loved my baby just the same. I never expected to have a miscarriage, I expected to continue for the next 9 months and at the end have a happy and healthy baby. My dreams of that were shattered and for the months following it only became worse.

Every pregnancy test was negative and at every turn someone I knew was announcing their pregnancy. I wanted to be happy for them, but all my heart could feel was pain and jealousy. I needed to break this habit of hopelessness and being angry at God for taking my baby away from me. So I decided that I will go in to each month with hope and that one day God will bless me with a child of my own.

So next time I see those two little pink lines, I will not take it for granted. I will love my little bean with everything I’ve got. I will not stress or doubt. Finally I will not expect that pregnancy to end in failure and sadness. I will get my rainbow baby. I will weather this storm and come out with my rainbow.

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